With 50% of the Choicefest experience successfully downloaded to your cerebral mainframe, you have a little bit less than 48 hours to successfully complete your interchange before the rest of your life passes you by Monday greets you with its weekly rude awakening. Even if you don’t work a “normal” job, or you don’t have a “job” at all, Monday is the sausage factory of unhappiness and societal judgment. In the mean time…
Tonight. You can watch the following bands at the Funhouse. Doors are at 8pm. $10
Two Ton Boa – “Cash Machine” is synonymous for “menacing.” I’m not talking about in the literary sense. Click on their name and watch the video.
Amber Asylum – Beautiful vocals behind a melancholic backdrop of pianos and strings. This is all taking place at the Funhouse. Believe it mammals.
The Family Curse – There was a time in the late 1990s that I got really into Ministry. As soon as I hit play on “Sewing Box,” all those teenage memories came rushing back. Thank god the Urkel glasses, man boobs and Y2K paranoia did not. Nostalgia can be an overwhelmingly powerful thing and I’m not just saying that because I’m watching “Steel Dragon” featuring Mark Wahlberg on VH1 as I type this.
Eight Bells – If you can appreciate the spacier side of Seattle’s Lesbian, then you should be able to appreciate the noisy, atmospheric delay brought to life by Portland’s Eight Bells. There aren’t as many “musical movements” on Isosceles as there are on any given Lesbian track but you can draw an abstract line between the two (at least I had the nerve to do so).
Luminol – As soon as I heard the “intro” to Locked in the Woods, I knew I was about to stumble on something unique and insane. Like a young child opening a Christmas gift, I eagerly unwrapped the track of “Right Hand Man.” Behold, I was right. This band equal parts awesome and psychopathic. If I ever actively participate in any kind of “fringe element” movement, I will make sure that this is the only band my cohorts and I listen to (as we pillage and plunder the rest of “normal” society).
Tomorrow Night. You can watch the following bands at the Black Lodge. 9pm.
Black Pussy – I’m willing to bet the price you pay for the admission of this show that “Blow Some Steam Off” will be one of your favorite songs this summer. This is assuming that my favorite season actually arrives at Seattle this year…
Witch Mountain – Not to be confused with the band “Black Mountain.” Did you ever wish that the original members of Black Sabbath played their instruments with the swank and swagger of a celebrity sex tape (one of the good ones, not Kim Kardashian meets Ray-J, none of that boring stuff)? The dark lord may have just answered your prayers. I’m pretty sure even God would put up a “Gone Fishing” sign in heaven just so he/she could venture into the depths of hell and listen to this band. Awesome.
Transient – Finally, a band that speaks my favorite language, ebonics GRINDCORE. Love it.
Don Peyote – Well, it looks like I have a new candidate for my favorite local band of 2012. Noisy, dissonant, raw, intense, angry. I’m not just describing your in-laws here. Gentle readers, we are talking about the most vicious of compositions with lyrical content that you can wear on your sleeve (if you’re into bong shelters, “Arrested Development” allusions and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson). It just so happens that those three things are the only things that I care about on this mortal plane.
Mendozza – “Mendozza” is actually Canadian for “the sludge.”