April 14, 2012

Ladies Choice Presents: Choicefest! Part Two



With 50% of the Choicefest experience successfully downloaded to your cerebral mainframe, you have a little bit less than 48 hours to successfully complete your interchange before the rest of your life passes you by Monday greets you with its weekly rude awakening. Even if you don’t work a “normal” job, or you don’t have a “job” at all, Monday is the sausage factory of unhappiness and societal judgment. In the mean time…

Tonight. You can watch the following bands at the Funhouse. Doors are at 8pm. $10

Two Ton Boa – “Cash Machine” is synonymous for “menacing.” I’m not talking about in the literary sense. Click on their name and watch the video.

Amber Asylum – Beautiful vocals behind a melancholic backdrop of pianos and strings. This is all taking place at the Funhouse. Believe it mammals.

The Family Curse – There was a time in the late 1990s that I got really into Ministry. As soon as I hit play on “Sewing Box,” all those teenage memories came rushing back. Thank god the Urkel glasses, man boobs and Y2K paranoia did not. Nostalgia can be an overwhelmingly powerful thing and I’m not just saying that because I’m watching “Steel Dragon” featuring Mark Wahlberg on VH1 as I type this.

Eight Bells – If you can appreciate the spacier side of Seattle’s Lesbian, then you should be able to appreciate the noisy, atmospheric delay brought to life by Portland’s Eight Bells. There aren’t as many “musical movements” on Isosceles as there are on any given Lesbian track but you can draw an abstract line between the two (at least I had the nerve to do so).

Luminol – As soon as I heard the “intro” to Locked in the Woods, I knew I was about to stumble on something unique and insane. Like a young child opening a Christmas gift, I eagerly unwrapped the track of “Right Hand Man.” Behold, I was right. This band equal parts awesome and psychopathic. If I ever actively participate in any kind of “fringe element” movement, I will make sure that this is the only band my cohorts and I listen to (as we pillage and plunder the rest of “normal” society).

Tomorrow Night. You can watch the following bands at the Black Lodge. 9pm.

Black Pussy – I’m willing to bet the price you pay for the admission of this show that “Blow Some Steam Off” will be one of your favorite songs this summer. This is assuming that my favorite season actually arrives at Seattle this year…

Witch Mountain – Not to be confused with the band “Black Mountain.” Did you ever wish that the original members of Black Sabbath played their instruments with the swank and swagger of a celebrity sex tape (one of the good ones, not Kim Kardashian meets Ray-J, none of that boring stuff)? The dark lord may have just answered your prayers. I’m pretty sure even God would put up a “Gone Fishing” sign in heaven just so he/she could venture into the depths of hell and listen to this band. Awesome.

Transient – Finally, a band that speaks my favorite language, ebonics GRINDCORE. Love it.

Don Peyote – Well, it looks like I have a new candidate for my favorite local band of 2012. Noisy, dissonant, raw, intense, angry. I’m not just describing your in-laws here. Gentle readers, we are talking about the most vicious of compositions with lyrical content that you can wear on your sleeve (if you’re into bong shelters, “Arrested Development” allusions and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson). It just so happens that those three things are the only things that I care about on this mortal plane.

Mendozza – “Mendozza” is actually Canadian for “the sludge.”

August 24, 2011

The Daily Choice: Bare Wires – Cheap Perfume


No one will contest that Bare Wires sound a good deal like T. Rex or any of the other T. Rex-ish bands that proliferated in the post T. Rex landscape.  No one will also contest that Bare Wires make them want to throw on tight, stretchy pants and a denim vest with nothing underneath it and grow their curly locks down to their shoulders and start wearing one of those bandanas that only cowboys and flaggers should have hanging from their back pockets and maybe get on some random stage and caress a microphone with words and gentle touches until it’s literally a puddle of molten metal in your hands.  I would say … rock and roll?

Bare Wires album Cheap Perfume will be out on Southpaw October 18th.

They’ll be playing the Uptown in Oakland on September 1st, the Rock Make Festival on Treat Street September 17th and for you Seattle hooligans, they’ll be at The Funhouse on September 3rd.

Bare Wires – Cheap Perfume

Source: The Bay Bridged

January 28, 2011

North of Northwest: The Tranzmitors




The Tranzmitors


Admittedly, I haven’t spent much time in Vancouver, but I have a mental image of the city, composed mostly of postcard pictures: green trees and fog, long bridges and mirrored buildings. It’s an image of cleanliness and prosperity and health, and it’s an image that Vancouver’s tourism bureau probably loves, but it’s almost certainly not the whole truth of the town.

Neatly demonstrating this point are punk-pop foursome the Tranzmitors, whose lyrical Vancouver seems to have more in common with Hollywood and 1960s London than with the rest of the Pacific Northwest. The ensemble inhabits an interesting cultural dichotomy, singing of mod shops and soda fountains on one hand and botox and porn stars on the other.

It would be easy to think of the Tranzmitors as a nostalgia group, given their suit-and-tie stage dress and their penchant for playing at scooter rallies. Nostalgia, though, implies a certain romanticization of the past. The Tranzmitors sing of their scooters and soda shops in the present tense, giving them both the commonness and vitality found in the scenes of day-to-day life.

Looking across to the other side of the imaginary tracks we find the neighborhoods of the sordid rich, a world described not with familiarity but with cynicism and harsh criticism. The Tranzmitors show their punk roots in “Bigger Houses, Broken Homes,” a mince-no-words skewering of upscale West Vancouver. “Lactation lady spills latte on a baby / Saying that’s all right, that stain will come out / Well I’ve got bigger problems yeah, my beauty is fading / But with a little money I can work it out.”

The real point of the Tranzmitors, though, seems to be to have fun. The music they make is upbeat and catchy, influenced as much by 60s pop and new wave as by “traditional” punk. Handclaps and rich instrumentation fill out the sparsity of the underlying punk song structure, and dancing, not moshing, is the clear intent. Live, the band gives and gives, sweating through their suits as they provide enough energy for the whole room. “You think too much / Just gotta loose a bit up / And have a good time” they sing in what may be their manifesto, “Dancing in the Front Row.”

Frankly, there’s an idea for any time or place. _______

The Tranzmitors play Slabtown in Portland on February 4 and the Funhouse in Seattle on February 5.

April 8, 2010

Bloodhag’s Final Chapter


Bloodhag at The Comet ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

Gentle reader, let me tell you about a crazy dream I had last night. I was hanging out in my room watching Sealab 2021 on DVD when I heard a knock at my window. I open my window only to get hit directly in the face with a book. Due to the element of surprise and the sheer force of the hardcover, I fall out of my window and into the flatbed of my housemates’ truck that was located in my driveway. After a few moments lying facedown in the back of the truck, I raise my head and can’t believe my eyes. Bloodhag is playing a concert in the middle of my street and going door-to-door assaulting my neighbors in hopes of improving literacy rates. Unbelievable.

After 15 years of literary assault, this Friday night at the Funhouse  “Educore” legends Bloodhag will be playing their last show. I’m saddened by the fact this will be the one and only time I’ll see this band after having heard so many awesome things about them.  I need a good book in my life right now, hopefully my dreams come true and I get hit in the face with an unquestionably solid read.

Also wreaking havoc at the Funhouse on Friday night will be the mechanical spectacle of Captured by Robots (from San Francisco) and a Klingon death metal band from Portland called Stovokor. Needless to say, this is the perfect Friday night date show. If you’re like me and you’re not sure you want to spend $30 seeing Spoon, I guarantee you that this will be worth your $12. The show starts at 9pm.

August 21, 2009

Thee Oh Sees on the Funhouse Court


Thee Oh Sees ::: Photo by Josh Lovseth

In addition to being highly amusing, Partman Parthorse had me realizing that a couple of their songs are pretty rad and danceable. Sic Alps were just OK. To be honest I felt like there was nothing new there and so did the crowd. To our pleasant surprise, heading to the outside smoking area early meant were given a chance at securing a good spot for what was about to happen. Thee Oh Sees were setting up all of their gear right under the basketball hoop. And as you might expect, after they got going, things up front started to get a little wild…

Thee Oh Sees ::: Photo by Josh Lovseth

Thee Oh Sees ::: Photo by Josh Lovseth

Thee Oh Sees ::: Photo by Josh Lovseth

July 31, 2009

The BEARD/OFF is happening


May 11, 2008

Tom T. Drummer — My Hero


Tom T. Drummer

Seriously, Tom T. Drummer of Thee Emergency is my hero. Tom broke his right ankle (his bass drum foot) on Tuesday and still played an amazing set last night at The Funhouse. Sure, the drum set had to literally be built around him, and his broken ankle was propped on a stool…but true to his ridiculous talent, Tom even in his crippled state, played a set that would have out-drummed most healthy drummers playing today.

May 9, 2008

Show of the Week: Thee Emergency, Wild Orchid Children, and The Whore Moans at The Funhouse


Three of Seattle’s best live acts on one line-up…why would you miss this? If you are not prepared to get the snot rocked out of you, don’t bother showing up. By the end of this show, with the building energy of the line-up, the Funhouse very well may explode. I expect lots of shennanigans and maybe a few on stage guests?


April 6, 2008

While the Rest of You Were at Over-Crowded Showbox Shows…


…we were loving our locals at The Funhouse.

Considering the incredible line up of The Mistress and the Misters, Junkface, Coconut Coolouts, and The Hands–The Funhouse should have been packed. But all you guys decided to spend 25 or 30 bucks and crane your necks at The Showboxes to see Ghostland and the Black Keys. So, while the audience at The Funhouse may have been criminally sparse, those of us who made it out were treated to an incredible show. Not even a mediocre band on the line up…my ears are still pleasantly ringing from the rock.

Mistress and the Misters (Spokane)

Mistress and the Misters



Coconut Coolouts

Coconut Coolouts

The Hands

Eli and Jordan of The Hands The Hands
March 31, 2008

Does that Really Say Junkface?!?


How the fuck did I miss one of my favorite bands on the line up of an already killer show? Especially after I posted the show’s kick ass poster?!? Junkface, our friends from Portland, will be playing this weekends show at The Funhouse with a few of our other favorites The Hands. I am SO much more excited now! Even more than I already was! If you missed Junkface at our 1st Showcase Ever back in July (and I bet you did, because it was fucking empty) you should do everything in your power to see them this weekend!