Strong Killings ::: Photo Courtesy of Don’t Stop Believin’ Records

I can remember it as if it were yesterday. I was a young man, my pockets full of coin, shoelaces tied ever so tight, I wore a beanie so low that it covered my eyes. I’m surprised that I made my way into the Rendezvous Jewel Box Theater without getting hit by a car. A nice automobile at that, maybe one with rims? This is Belltown after all, even the road kill has more style than you.

On this particular evening I was engaged by three bands. One band left me with the impression that they would go forth and conquer the world. A year later, Ravenna Woods is in the midst of doing that and doing interviews featuring appearances by goats. Another band decided to bless me with a classic pop song in the most unsuspecting fashion possible. Is there anything better than being pleasantly surprised by a band? The band I’m talking about is MK Speed Dial and their song was “Hey Keri”. The song still hasn’t left my head to this day. The band just put out an EP back in January. People in Seattle are always confessing how they love pop music and then proceed to listen to the safest form of pop music that they can find. Hit me in the head with a ball-point hammer multiple times, my gosh is that boring. Seattlites, do yourself a favor and throw that mundane almost-three-chord nonsense, backed by Fisher Price keyboards, into an emerald city dollar bin. Leave that boring contrived nonsense for Brooklyn. Start listening to MK Speed Dial if you truly love good pop music. I’m calling your bluff. Don’t make me single you out.

Last and certainly not least were the band Strong Killings. Some dude comes out on-stage with the most severe case of bedhead I’ve seen in recent memory. He greets us by mumbling some inside joke. He’s trying to obtain some “go fast”. Internally I begin to try and solve an unfamiliar problem. In my mind I’m thinking that I don’t know anyone in Belltown that sells PCP. The music begins and suddenly I find myself yearning for whatever the lead singer was mumbling about. Every song they play is a few minutes of blistering bliss. Excuse my poor usage of the literary device “alliteration”, but really that’s the best way to describe their compositions. Strong Killings are like the punk rock version of Dear Abbey. They talk about the stuff that you’re afraid to talk about. Instead you choose to pester media types like Dan Savage and Dr. Drew in a faceless fashion with your problems. Why don’t you lie down on my beer soaked secondhand store couch? Tell me what’s going on.  Are you too ugly to dance? Have you developed carpal tunnel from writing too many “I Saw U’s”? Strong Killings have a song for you. Having trouble paying the rent? Unemployed, down on your luck? Strong Killings have created an anthem for the under-privileged. Too busy pretending your James Dean when in reality, you’re more of a Jimmy Dean? Once again Strong Killings has you covered. Have you made it all the way into adulthood without being properly potty trained? Strong Killings does not have a song for you. You should probably do something about that. However, they do have a song that bears the same name as a famous Wu-Tang mantra. Tigerstyle! Strong Killings and the Wu-Tang Clan would be a collaboration worth hearing. Strong Killings is much more legit than Black Lips. Behold, the final verdict:

A more sensitive, less abrasive version of Asshole Parade + F-Letter-era Frodus = Strong Killings.

That’s the most fundamental way of saying this shit is awesome.  Look at what is happening in the future:

Strong Killings + Gladiators Eat Fire at the Groundzero Teen Center in Bellevue (Tonight!) Strong Killings + MK Speed Dial at the Cabin Tavern in Bellingham (March 8th) Strong Killings + MK Speed Dial at the Rendezvous Jewelbox Theater (March 10th)

The show at the Rendezvous is actually their tour send-off show. There are rumors that there will be t-shirts and tapes available. Which beckons me to ask the following question, do you mean VHS or Cassette tapes? Both are obselete and I feel tempted to punch any band in the throat that tries to peddle either onto their fans. You might as well sell chainmail instead of t-shirts. Seriously. The internet is the ultimate an inefficient veil of potential sarcasm.