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January 11, 2011

My 2010: In One Ear and Out The Other (the “Live” show)

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Baroness at Bumbershoot ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

Ladies and Gentlemen, hold on to your hats, this is for all the marbles….

“You’re Not From Around Here…Are You?” – Best Live Performance By A Touring Act

Winner(s): Goodie Mob. Coalesce. Baroness. Almost Winner(s): Jay Electronica.

Judging by the fact that I have multiple winners listed, this was a difficult decision to make. Goodie Mob gave me a reason to believe in the concept of “reunion tours” again. I graduated from the school of thought where if you break up once, you should probably stay separated. Unless you’re a fan of daytime television or have the desire to construct a Greek tragedy in which you are the star, it’s probably in the best interest of all parties involved. This Goodie Mob tour could’ve went a lot like a Naughty By Nature (who?) reunion tour. But it didn’t. Big Gipp rocking a bullet proof vest in tongue and cheek fashion. Cee-Lo playing the part of the big bad wolf by blowing the “house” down with his vocals. It was a thing of beauty. Coalesce took a decade of mockery by yours truly and shoved it down my throat and into the pit of my stomach. I’m still removing the crow from my teeth and the show happened back in May. Baroness may be the crown jewel of this trio. They braved the elements. an unfavorable set-time (competing with lots of other acts at Bumbershoot) and still came out as the undeniable kings of the mountain. They literally destroyed generations of people. Never have I seen someone who isn’t old enough to know the mathematical concept of “multiplication” rock out so hard. They performed with a precision and charisma that was unmatched in the calendar year of 2010. Kudos to them. On the other hand….

The Thermals at Bumbershoot ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

“Who Are You Boning For Your Success?” Worst Live Performance By A “Touring” Band

Winner: Free Energy. Almost Winner: The Thermals.

For as long as Free Energy are in existence, this is their award to lose. The kings of pomp. How many Mick Jagger “How To Be A Frontman” VHS tapes can we watch in one night? No. Let’s choreograph the moves we see in RockBand.  Maybe if we wear makeup, people like us more? Suddenly we’re opening for a souless, cowardly Weezer. Go figure. The Thermals are a band that I enjoy, at times. Here’s where I utter the predictable “I like the first album, but that’s it” go-to critic line. I saw them in the KEXP Bumbershoot Lounge or what have you. Easily one of the most boring, uninspired performances I’ve ever seen. Billy Corgan is looking in the mirror, shining his bald head and mocking toasting this display of live mediocrity. Well done. The well-trained people in the audience clapped after every song. Why? Was it because it was live radio and that was your job as a studio audience? Sheep. I wanted to “boo” and maybe “hiss.” Tomatoes would have been heaved in the Thermals general direction. There is the possibility that the Thermals were saving their passion for the Broad Street Stage later on that tonight. That’s not a legit excuse in my opinion.

Drew Grow and the Pastors’ Wives ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

“‘It’s Getting Better All The Time…’No Seriously Your Band Is Like That Beatles Song…” Live Show Award.

Winner: Drew Grow and the Pastor’s Wives. Almost Winner(s): What What Now.

I’m just stating the facts. Every time I see Drew Grow and the Pastor’s Wives, they are better than the time before…and they are always really good. After the first four or five times this happened, I was shocked. Now this is just something I expect. It’s too bad for them, they’re fucked by their own greatness.  Sooner or later I fully expect Drew Grow to utter this in the middle of a live performance: “While all of you had your eyes closed during It All Comes Right, Seth and Jeremiah have built a spaceship out of your adoration. Look around you. Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently floating in space…I’m not kidding.” I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. In fact, I demand that this happens the next time I see them. Don’t mind me. I’m a first child. We’re the spoiled ones.

See the rest of Phil’s live favorites (and least favorites) after the jump… (more…)

December 27, 2010

My 2010: In One Ear and Out the Other (Songs)

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Unnatural Helpers ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

Hey, you remember that time that Kanye West put out his first decent album since College Dropout and received a perfect rating from Pitchfork? Wasn’t that crazy? Or what about that time that the Arcade Fire put out their least memorable studio album to date and ended up on everyone’s “Best Records of 2010″ list? Wasn’t that kind of weird? Have you ever seen a pre-school child eat those goldfish cracker snacks? They devour them. You could drop them on the on a public bathroom floor and those kids would not blink. They have one goal in mind and that is to put those little golden crackers into their stomachs. I like fishes because they’re so delicious. Gotta go fishing. Music reviewers can be the same way. An artist they love can do no wrong. Ever. Before the goldfish album drops, the music critic has already decided to eat it up. What else can they do? Judge it for what it is? No way. That’s wasting food blogosphere credibility. Why think, when you can GroupThink?

This is not really a “Best of 2010″ list. Most of the music I continue to enjoy is rarely released within the current calendar year. Ever since I was a youth, I have let albums find me. Rarely do I go seek an album out. It’s a blessing and a curse. For instance, I still have not heard the National’s High Violet. I like the National’s past releases a great deal, why am I being so sluggish in giving their latest effort a listen? I don’t have an answer for that. I just know that when the time is right, I’ll have that record and hopefully enjoy it. The following couple hundred words is just a list that relates to individual songs. I’ll post additional lists that reference albums, live performances and moments that you may have missed during the past year. Actually it’s more of an awards show without live video. Maybe next year.

Local Song of the Year: “Sunshine/Pretty Girls” by the Unnatural Helpers

I know what you’re thinking, “How the hell did this song win ‘Local Song of the Year’?” I’ll tell you how. At first, I hated this song. I thought that a handful of kids that got rejected from Seattle’s School of Rock could probably craft a better tune. It’s got three chords, barely. If the lyrics were written on anything besides a two day old pizza box it would be a travesty. Everything about this song screams “novice” and “Hey, want to listen to the band I played in during high school?” However, this song rules and your high school band sucked. I can listen to this song anytime, anywhere. It has not left my head or I-Pods (plural, bitches) since I got over my initial disdain for it. Let’s dim the lights and get sensitive for a moment. The song’s subject matter of “sunshine” and “pretty girls” happens to be my two favorite things on Earth! Incredible! The author pretends not to care about them and that’s fine he can let the listener do that for him. This song is about vanity, stubbornness and fun. Incidentally, those are the only three personality traits I have. Winner.

Other local songs that I love that could have won this award:

“Simple Fates” by Ravenna Woods * “All the King’s Men” by Hounds of the Wild Hunt * “Bobby O” by What What Now * “Capital 5…” by Shabazz Palaces * “Break Bread” by Baltic Cousins * “Poisonous Witchball” by Lesbian* “I Want You To Come Home Now” by Drew Grow and the Pastor’s Wives * “Gasoline Rainbows (Jesus Is a Blackman)” by Wild Orchid Children * “Whale Song” by Lemolo * “Rivers and Roads” by the Head and the Heart * “My Oh My” by Macklemore “Floorplan” by Youth Rescue Mission * “Emerald City Dollar Bin” by Partman Parthouse

Any song that is going to appear on the upcoming Helms Alee album. If I knew the names I guarantee you that at least one song would be listed here.

My five favorite songs of 2010 that were not released this year (But I heard them for the first time this year):

“In My Wake, For My Own” by Coalesce * “Salt” by Portugal. The Man * “Victory Is In My Clutches” by Jay Electronica * “So You Wanna Be A Superhero” by Carissa’s Wierd “Freeze Me” by Young Dro f. T.I and Gucci Mane

May 23, 2010

Black Breath Jams

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Black Breath ::: photo courtesy of Southern Lord

Sometime last weekend I read a twitter message from Converge talking about how Black Breath was melting minds. Cheers to you, legends of hardcore from the snowy northeast. When I saw Black Breath with Converge and Coalesce last week at Neumo’s, Black Breath pried the top of my skull open like it was a can of tuna and inserted all sorts of sonic misgivings. I tried to protest, “Your guitar tone is too immaculate for my mortal body to handle!” They claimed it was for my own good, they were right. It was the second time in recent memory that a heavy local band arguably outplayed its “national” counterparts. (The other time I’m referring to is when Helm’s Alee played with Young Widows and Russian Circles back in November.) While on the subject I must say that Coalesce was really, really good. Whenever I heard them growing up, I thought of them as “short bus hardcore” that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Flash forward more than a decade later and my opinion has changed. I spent the entire duration of Coalesce’s set with a paper plate, plastic fork and knife, napkin tied around my neck, eating crow while quietly crying in the corner.

But I digress.

Gentle reader, do you want to know how to win my heart? Sure you do. One foolproof way is cooking really great Italian food. The other way is appealing to what I would call my “Dimebag Sensibilities.” Yes, I could be talking about marijuana, but in this case I’m really talking about my undying love of Pantera. The first time I heard the initial groove of “Unholy Virgin” I immediately thought of the chorus to Pantera’s “Goddamn Electric.” I don’t mind any band that reminds me of the Cowboys from Hell. “Unholy Virgin” is unlike the other songs off of Black Breath’s album “Heavy Breathing” because it’s not as fast and thrashy as the other tracks. It remains stuck in its seductive rattlesnake rhythm for the duration of the song and that is fine by me. Choosing this track over others like “I Am Beyond” and “Wewhocannotbenamed” was not easy. Especially considering the former has an atrociously brutal breakdown that makes me feel like kid again. I don’t mind “Picking up Change” before going into a wicked “Pizza Maker” then transitioning into a “Light-Saber Fight” that culminates with me stage diving onto my bed. As long as it’s in the comfort of my own bedroom and I’m the only one who might potentially get hurt, right?

You might think Black Breath is named after some sort of unfortunate affliction, but this is one instance where disease feels almost to good to be true.

Stream “Unholy Virgin” courtesy of Southern Lord Records – from the album Heavy Breathing