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August 30, 2012

My Most Anticipated Acts of Bumbershoot

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Key Arena Seattle Center Bumbershoot Music and Arts Festival
Don't Talk to the CopsPhoto: Josh Lovseth
Don't Talk to the Cops

Lots of good things happening at Bumbershoot this year. When was the last time Jane’s Addiction played in Seattle? Does anyone remember that Porno for Pyros song “Tahitian Moon”? Were you there? Did they play “Mountain Song”?

Saturday 

Don’t Talk to the Cops (1pm on Fisher Green Stage) – A few weeks ago a reader berated me saying that Don’t Talk To The Cops are trash terrible. I disagree. For those out there who still aren’t sold on this charismatic group, you have to see them at least three times minimum. I promise by the third time you’ll finally understand what you failed to comprehend the previous two performances. Yeah, I drink coffee, so back up off me, bitch. You can send all thank you notes and haikus paying tribute to the song “Big Ass Head” to the following address: phil@soundonthesound.com

Polecat (1:30pm The Promenade) - I saw Polecat at the High Dive this spring and I thought they put on one hell of a show. A friend of mine begged to differ. He had to leave because, “This band is playing reggae shit that is my kryptonite.” I didn’t want to be responsible for the death of Superman so I trusted his words. Later that night a stranger asked me if I knew what clogging was. It was a weird night. Polecat aren’t reggae and they aren’t the kind of music that one would clog to. They are an amalgam of all things groove oriented in Bellingham. Are you into bluegrasscelticfolkreggaeamericanacountryjams? If that’s the case, I think this band is going to blow your mind.

Unnatural Helpers (1:45pm Sub Pop Stage) – A couple of years ago this band wrote my favorite song of the year. I’ll always be grateful to them for penning a tune that represents 98% of my brain activity. Sunshine and pretty girls.

Missy Higgins (1:45 Bumbershoot Main Stage) – I think we should all give this Australian singer/songwriter our undivided attention for the suffering she has endured opening up for Gotye on a recent. Can you imagine hearing “Somebody I Use to Know” on an every single night? Brutal. If I see anyone I know at Gotye I am going to capture them in a giant burlap sack normally meant for potatoes and throw them in the back of my trunk.

Black Breath (2:45 Exhibition Hall Stage) – I have been in Black Breath detox all year. I saw this band so much in 2010 and 2011 that something had to be done. If I am exposed to a band too often I begin to resent their music. Clearly something is wrong with me. I haven’t even heard Black Breath’s  ”new” album yet. Honesty, I am frightened it won’t be as good as Heavy Breathing and my affections for this group will wane dramatically. I can be a coward in more ways than you can possibly imagine.

Sera Cahoone (3:30 Sub Pop Stage) – Arguably the most calming voice in Seattle. This isn’t a snide remark, I am being serious.

Eyehategod (6:15pm Exhibition Hall) – Sludge metal from the Big Easy. Not to be confused with Virginia’s Lamb of God. Out of all the acts performing this weekend, I am looking forward to this and Tony Bennett the most. Maybe they’ll perform together? At Bumbershoot anything can happen….

Jane’s Addiction (9:30pm Main Stage) – Duh.

Sunday

Why? (1pm Exhibition Hall Stage) – A couple of years ago when I was a young man, eager to don an apron at Pasta and Company in the U-Village when I use to work at Pasta and Company, my co-worker would always play Alopecia on repeat throughout the morning. At the time I can’t say I had heard anything like it. I don’t say that because the music was incredibly innovative (although it was). I make that remark because if you stepped outside of the kitchen and into the front of the store, you were bombarded with adult contemporary crap and “rich people” jams. “Oh, is that Joni Mitchell playing somewhat audibly? I use to protest Vietnam before you were born, now I protest poor people. I’ll take 20 pounds of that $32.95 per/lb petite filet. My retired racing greyhound is hungry.” I haven’t heard Alopecia since. Why do I do this to myself? What pleasure can I possibly derive from failing to buy albums I already know I like? I did that for almost the entirety of high school to Lifetime’s Jersey’s Best Dancers. I need a shrink.  

Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings (1:45pm Main Stage) – One of the premiere acts of this contemporary “soul revival” that everyone is really into these days.

Tony Bennett (3:15pm Main Stage) – For all you young folks out there that aren’t familiar with this legend, let me contemporize his greatness for you in a jejune language that you can understand. Tony Bennett* was in a movie with Gwenyth Paltrow in which he sang a duet with her. The name of that movie was called “Duets.” Gwenyth Paltrow is married to Chris Martin. Chris Martin is friends with Jay-Z and Beyonce. Mr. Martin is also the frontman in Coldplay. How many of you remember Coldplay? Many blank faces.

In other words, Tony Bennett is a member of the illuminati by six degrees of separation in relation to Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Yelawolf (4pm Fisher Green Stage) – I don’t much about this cat except that he’s from Alabama and I get hyped to this song. I’m wondering if he’ll be the “Jay Electronica” of this year’s Bumbershoot (read: slightly under the radar, shows up and crushes all other mic grippers that perform this weekend).

Fruit Bats (5pm Sub Pop Stage) –  I haven’t heard tracks from the album Tripper but I am looking forward to hearing them this weekend. I’ve never seen a sub-par Fruit Bats performance. Never.

The Promise Ring (6:15pm Exhibition Hall Stage) – I can write millions thousands hundreds of trillions of words about this band. Some would be positive. Some would be negative. As of right now, I am only going to say one thing. If they’re too cool to play “E. Texas Ave” I am going to throw a multitude of footwear at their visages. I’m taking my size 12′s and they are going to land right between the eyes of Davey von Boehlen. Then I am taking your flip flops and I am tossing them at the drummer whose name I don’t recall. If any of you are planning on wearing heels (To a music festival? Do you masochist much?), please let me know so that I can make proper use of them.

Mudhoney (6:45pm Sub Pop Stage) – Duh.

Big Sean (8:15pm Main Stage) – 313 in the house! Straight from the D! Not Dallas, that’s Big D That’s all I have to say about that.

Mac Miller (9:45pm Main Stage) – This guy was born in 1992! How ancient are you feeling right now!?! Steel City’s finest if you ask me (in comparison to the young man who was at Bumbershoot last year, Wiz Khalifa).

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July 17, 2012

Capitol Hill Block Party Run-Down

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Fresh Espresso Lemolo Capitol Hill Block Party

Fresh Espresso ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

Plebeian Paradise, it’s so good to see you again. It’s been about a year but every July you come to Seattle, sashshaying your way into the conscious of local residents who then proceed to complain to me about how awesome it used to be before I moved here who then in turn show up in droves to populate the aforementioned metropolitan arcadia despite their reservations. It’s a vicious cycle of self-hatred, sunburn and inebriation. I suppose I should include the concept of “fun” or “enjoyment” in there, but we all know that simply does not occur.  Patrons of summer festivals, would you have it any other way? Block Party, what will you be wearing this year? I’d bet a sixpence on a can of PBR that has been sitting in the trunk of a 1993 Honda Accord all day that it will be the following:

Dudes – Tight blue jorts that your kid sister would have worn when she was nine years old and imitating Clarissa Explains It All, a graphic t-shirt with a picture of a “fierce” animal on the front (Grizzly Bear, Grey Wolf or Golden Retriever all accepted) and white Keds (no laces, duh). You can substitute the animal shirt for something that Pee Wee Herman might wear, that is allowed.

Ladies – Thrift store Jordache jorts that make your butt look like you gave yourself a wedgie for a good 40 minutes before you left your house (you can’t spell “summertime figure” without “sheeplike faux modesty”), a brightly colored blouse that looks like it was attacked by moths and boots that Burt Reynolds wore on the day of his famous Cosmopolitan shoot. Yes, you can substitute the blouse for a bevy well placed cigarette burns. That’s totally cool with me.

Oh my god, don’t forget your sunglasses.

As far artists and recommendations go, you can either look at the official lineup/schedule here or you can heed the advice of Sound on the Sound’s own Kathleen Tarrant and follow her recommendations.

As for what I’m looking forward to, continue reading at your own peril.

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January 11, 2011

My 2010: In One Ear and Out The Other (the “Live” show)

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Baroness at Bumbershoot ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

Ladies and Gentlemen, hold on to your hats, this is for all the marbles….

“You’re Not From Around Here…Are You?” – Best Live Performance By A Touring Act

Winner(s): Goodie Mob. Coalesce. Baroness. Almost Winner(s): Jay Electronica.

Judging by the fact that I have multiple winners listed, this was a difficult decision to make. Goodie Mob gave me a reason to believe in the concept of “reunion tours” again. I graduated from the school of thought where if you break up once, you should probably stay separated. Unless you’re a fan of daytime television or have the desire to construct a Greek tragedy in which you are the star, it’s probably in the best interest of all parties involved. This Goodie Mob tour could’ve went a lot like a Naughty By Nature (who?) reunion tour. But it didn’t. Big Gipp rocking a bullet proof vest in tongue and cheek fashion. Cee-Lo playing the part of the big bad wolf by blowing the “house” down with his vocals. It was a thing of beauty. Coalesce took a decade of mockery by yours truly and shoved it down my throat and into the pit of my stomach. I’m still removing the crow from my teeth and the show happened back in May. Baroness may be the crown jewel of this trio. They braved the elements. an unfavorable set-time (competing with lots of other acts at Bumbershoot) and still came out as the undeniable kings of the mountain. They literally destroyed generations of people. Never have I seen someone who isn’t old enough to know the mathematical concept of “multiplication” rock out so hard. They performed with a precision and charisma that was unmatched in the calendar year of 2010. Kudos to them. On the other hand….

The Thermals at Bumbershoot ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

“Who Are You Boning For Your Success?” Worst Live Performance By A “Touring” Band

Winner: Free Energy. Almost Winner: The Thermals.

For as long as Free Energy are in existence, this is their award to lose. The kings of pomp. How many Mick Jagger “How To Be A Frontman” VHS tapes can we watch in one night? No. Let’s choreograph the moves we see in RockBand.  Maybe if we wear makeup, people like us more? Suddenly we’re opening for a souless, cowardly Weezer. Go figure. The Thermals are a band that I enjoy, at times. Here’s where I utter the predictable “I like the first album, but that’s it” go-to critic line. I saw them in the KEXP Bumbershoot Lounge or what have you. Easily one of the most boring, uninspired performances I’ve ever seen. Billy Corgan is looking in the mirror, shining his bald head and mocking toasting this display of live mediocrity. Well done. The well-trained people in the audience clapped after every song. Why? Was it because it was live radio and that was your job as a studio audience? Sheep. I wanted to “boo” and maybe “hiss.” Tomatoes would have been heaved in the Thermals general direction. There is the possibility that the Thermals were saving their passion for the Broad Street Stage later on that tonight. That’s not a legit excuse in my opinion.

Drew Grow and the Pastors’ Wives ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

“‘It’s Getting Better All The Time…’No Seriously Your Band Is Like That Beatles Song…” Live Show Award.

Winner: Drew Grow and the Pastor’s Wives. Almost Winner(s): What What Now.

I’m just stating the facts. Every time I see Drew Grow and the Pastor’s Wives, they are better than the time before…and they are always really good. After the first four or five times this happened, I was shocked. Now this is just something I expect. It’s too bad for them, they’re fucked by their own greatness.  Sooner or later I fully expect Drew Grow to utter this in the middle of a live performance: “While all of you had your eyes closed during It All Comes Right, Seth and Jeremiah have built a spaceship out of your adoration. Look around you. Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently floating in space…I’m not kidding.” I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. In fact, I demand that this happens the next time I see them. Don’t mind me. I’m a first child. We’re the spoiled ones.

See the rest of Phil’s live favorites (and least favorites) after the jump… (more…)

August 3, 2010

Block Party Standouts: Black Breath

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Black Breath ::: Photo Courtesy of David Lichterman

“This band is soooo loud…” – Anonymous Block Party Patron who could be seen retreating from the Vera Stage, he left with fellow khaki cargo short clad fraternity brother entourage.

Here at the Sound on the Sound, we’re not against those who participate in the “Greek Life” per se. However, we’re totally against those who step into the lion’s den only to run for their lives shortly thereafter. Brah, you knew what you were getting into when you walked down side street and into thrashy oblivion. There’s no reason to call your mom and ask her to take you to the GAP now.  For those who came to Block Party to see Black Breath melt the foundation of the Vera Stage, we wholeheartedly salute you.

As one could expect, Black Breath created the most mayhem out of all the acts that performed during the course of Capitol Hill Block Party. Black Breath’s lead singer, Nate McAdams was constantly throwing himself off the stage and into the waiting arms of his metal minions. There was quite a bit of crowd-surfing amongst audience members as well. I couldn’t see any classic hardcore dances occurring from where I was standing, but I did see some mosh-pit action that brought me back to 1995. At one point, that mosh-pit almost became a circle-pit, which would’ve brought me back to the good old days of Gorilla Biscuits’ “Start Today.” There’s nothing wrong with that, I used to eat breakfast to that record as a youth.

A couple highlights from Black Breath’s set:

Nate McAdams is a master of song introduction. Let me give you two examples:

1) “This song goes out to all you twisted whore fucks out there…” The band then launches into an unforgiving version of “Heavy Breathing.”

2) “This song is about my favorite snack, it’s called ‘Eat the Witch.’”

Obviously, McAdams knows how to make a girl blush by saying the right things at the right time.

Enough energy was emitted during “I am Beyond” and “Unholy Virgin” that I’m sincerely surprised a humongous rogue wave wasn’t created in Lake Washington, thus ruining quite a few afternoon endeavors on the lake. Granted those two songs are my favorite Black Breath songs, I have to pay homage where homage is due. Simply awesome.

Even though it’s kind of hard to do sometimes, I forget the lasting impact of Cliff Burton’s bass playing on the musical world.This is coming from someone who doesn’t even like Metallica (though I do like some older Metallica), but literally Cliff Burton was the first thing I thought of when I saw Black Breath’s Elijah Nelson hammering out his bass lines. Consider this is a compliment of the highest order.

If you haven’t seen Black Breath, you’re missing out on one of Seattle’s premiere acts. Don’t get left behind.

Black Breath ::: Photo Courtesy of David Lichterman

July 24, 2010

Choose Your Own Adventure: Capitol Hill Block Party Day 2

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Blood Red Dancers ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

“We’ve come a long way together…through the hard times and the good…”

You begin your day with three other people sardined into your twin-size bed and a Fatboy Slim song blasting on your alarm clock radio. Who knew the Fruit Bats would be Seattle’s best aphrodisiac? I’m not saying anything happened with you and the other actors from last night’s dramatic play, but I’m not saying nothing happened either.  Someone from a small mid-western town might call you “godless” and that’s fine. Let them think what they want to think. Do you want to know what I call you? The first person on my Evite list…

You throw on your 3rd favorite pair of jeans and get ready for Day 2 of Block Party. It starts earlier than yesterday so you’re going to have to pace yourself. You grab a sharpie and scrawl “pace yourself” into the palm of your hand, forgetting that you’ll probably wash your hands about 90 times over the course of the day. This is not a good omen as far as your liver and kidneys are concerned.  That’s ok, vital organs take a backseat to Block Party, that’s a given. You make your way to Block Party…

What isn’t a given is how you’ll begin Block Party.  Do you want to dance with the Redwood Plan at the Main Stage? Or do your eyes and ears want to feast on Seattle’s latest darlings, the Head and the Heart, at the Vera Stage? Booty shaking, sweaty rhythmic fun or you hugging yourself and tapping your foot for 40 minutes? Tough decision on a Saturday afternoon. You spend a couple minutes frozen in place and unable to decide. Just then you come up with the unique tiebreaker of “Which group might have less annoying fans enjoying their performance?”

You find yourself enjoying the Head and the Heart for the first time. This isn’t the ideal setting for a band like the Head and the Heart to make their first impression but they are blowing you away nonetheless. The Vera Stage has been quite kind to you thus far during the festival. You smile the entire duration of the Head and the Heart’s set while the sun kisses your skin. Is this heaven or is this Iowa? You see no signs of Moonlight Graham or “Shoeless” Joe Jackson; you conclude that you are in heaven…at least for the time being.

The Head and the Heart end their set and you’re left with yet another decision to make. Do you want to stick around the Vera Stage and see the energetic rock n’ roll of Cold Lake? You’ve seen them before at the Black Lodge and they were an entertaining bunch. You could continue on your mellow journey and voyage to Neumo’s to see Beach Fossils.  You’re unsure whether or not to make a commitment to Beach Fossils because they are from Brooklyn. You’re currently boycotting all musical acts from that part of the universe. Your grandfather has also never forgiven Brooklyn for letting the Dodgers leave in 1958. He’s convinced that if the Dodgers never left for Los Angeles, people who currently live in L.A. wouldn’t be so annoying. You beg to differ but sometimes the grudges of your father’s father are too hard to overcome…

Even though you hate the Main Stage audience with absolute passion, you decide to go see Obits instead of Cold Lake and Beach Fossils. Upon your arrival you realize that you broke your boycott of Brooklyn but you make excuses for your hypocrisy. Rick Froberg was in Drive Like Jehu, which is not just one of the best bands to ever come out of San Diego; they were one of the best bands ever. There you go, your loophole is now big enough for an elephant to fit through. The only bad thing about rocking out to Obits at the Main Stage is that you’re missing out on My Goodness at Cha Cha. My Goodness churns out sweaty blues in a big way and would be perfect to see at Cha Cha. However, they gig in Seattle more often than Obits, you’ll just have to suffer through this blown opportunity. You vow to see My Goodness in a few weeks at Chop Suey.

Obits was enjoyable but in order to avoid the point when the Main Stage audience turns into a herd of cattle, you leave Obits when they are about to play their last song. You make your way to Neumo’s to try to catch the last few songs of the Drowning Men…

You arrive in Neumo’s utterly flabbergasted and disappointed. It’s not that the Drowning Men are bad; it’s just that you confused their moniker with legendary Burlington, Vermont hardcore band, Drowningman. You were hoping to lose face to “Condoning the Use of Inhalants” and “When People Become Numbers” but instead you got digestible indie rock. You conclude there’s enough indie rock on this earth that is easy on the ears and you don’t want anymore. You leave Neumo’s and watch scores of people enjoy the Drowning Men as you exit…

Still bitter from your indie rock let down, you decide to go to the Cha Cha to try and catch a few songs of the Blood Red Dancers. On your way over you buy a hip-hop CD from some stranger at a negotiable price. You don’t ever plan on listening to the CD but you feel good knowing that you’ve supported local music…

The Blood Red Dancers are good and seem to thrive in the close quarters of the Cha Cha.  This band reminds of you of the bands Firewater and Morphine even though they sound don’t sound like either. Blood Red Dancers play the song “Sweetie’s Getting Robbed” and you think to yourself what an awesome tramp stamp that would make for that one girl at work that you don’t like. The Blood Red Dancers have turned the Cha Cha into afternoon sweat-fest. You get tired of the gym locker room vibe and decide to leave Block Party for a short period of time…

As you make your way to Cal Anderson Park you run into some old friends walking towards the entrance of Block Party. You convince them that it would be a good idea to go to Molly Moon’s for some ice cream. You crack a smile as you are reminded of that special moment in Fugazi’s “Instrument” when Ian Mackeye chastises an audience member for getting too rowdy. “Ice cream eating motherfucker…” You think of it as being one of the greatest moments in western civilization. The gods in the sky just think of it as foreshadowing…

After waiting in line for “a goddamn long time” (direct quote from one of your friends), you purchase some Maple Walnut in a cone and lick away. Delicious. Everything is right in the world. You’re with friends on a pristine summer day in the Pacific Northwest, enjoying music and being hedonistic. You would like to capture this moment in a time capsule and open it up some time in the distant future. Licking your ice cream, walking on the sidewalk, enjoying conversation, minding your business…

Fight breaks out and you’re caught in the middle. Just like that awful U2 song, you’re stuck in a moment and can’t get out of it. Strangers unexpectedly decide to come to blows. Your ice cream ends up all over your clothes as you seek shelter from the melee. The fight doesn’t last that long because cops are stationed right around the corner. You make your way to the entrance of Block Party as the police officers arrest the two men. You’re pissed about your ice cream. You keep in mind not to punch anyone in the face while inside; if you do you’ll soon share the fate of those two men…

The only thing you want to hear right now is Black Breath at the Vera Stage. They bring the kind of heavy aggression that will make one forget that they have ice cream all over them. As you make your way to the Vera Stage you keep your fingers crossed and hope they play “I Am Beyond” or “Unholy Virgin.” Without question this will be the most crushing set of the entire weekend…maybe even the entire summer. Throughout the set you make sure to give the “devil horns” sign as a tribute to Ronnie James Dio who just passed recently.

After your dessert catharsis courtesy of Black Breath, you take a look at your Block Party schedule and are unsure of what to do next. You think about giving Neumo’s another shot but you’re not even sure who is playing there. As your eyes make their way across the schedule, you notice !!! just got started not too long ago on the Main Stage. They’ve been a band a long time, you’re kind of surprised that they are still around and wouldn’t mind going to see them. Suddenly you remember what a pain in the ass it is to Google their name and decide against it.  This is the age we live in, where we hand down judgments based on search engine results. Besides you haven’t gotten your fix of hip-hop today (remember those bumper stickers from Day One?).  You decide to stick around for the Hip-Hop showcase at the Vera Stage featuring Grynch, Spaceman and State of the Artist…

After the Hip-Hop Showcase at the Vera Stage is over with, you decide that hip-hop can’t fail in a festival setting. You’ve never seen Grynch perform live before but he killed it as expected. You were completely unfamiliar with State of the Artist before this night but you’ll keeping an eye out for their future dates as well…

Now you’re faced with a great problem, a blessing of sonic proportions. There’s potentially four or five acts you want to catch by the end of the night and if you are fleet of foot, you’ll be able to see every last one of them…

You leave the Vera Stage and make your way to Neumo’s to see Past Lives. They play the kind of weird shit that you are in to. Plus they have this really cool t-shirt that you’ve been thinking about buying. While Past Lives are between songs you peek your head out of the side door of Neumo’s to catch a glimpse of Blonde Redhead on the Main Stage.  Every time you peer out, you think to yourself “Is that really Blonde Redhead playing the Main Stage at Capitol Hill Block Party?” Believe it mammal, it most certainly is. What other stage would they play? Exactly…

Before Past Lives can finish their set at Neumo’s, you make your way back to the Vera Stage to see Seattle’s favorite pocket sized orchestra, Grand Hallway. The last time you saw them was at Neumo’s with the Moondoggies and you thought they were amazing. The Vera Stage will prove to be kind to both Grand Hallway and all its spectators…

After Grand Hallway plays four songs (no more, no less) you will decide that this beautiful music is causing you to be too introspective. You conclude that your life is like an airplane stuck on the runway filled with a bunch of bitchy passengers. It’s not a good feeling. You need a different distraction.  You head to Cha Cha to see Feral Children…

The sounds coming from downstairs at Bimbo’s make the descent down the stairwell to Cha Cha feel like House of Leaves. It’s not the sound of the music; you’ve had too much to drink and not enough to eat. You reach the bottom of the stairs just as Feral Children begin to play “Kid Origami.” This means a lot to you because that song has been stuck in your head for the last six months. Now that you’ve witnessed the song once again in person, you can sleep without the night terrors that have haunted you for so long. A good pop song can do that to you…

Feeling free of your night terrors, you leave Cha Cha and head back to the Main Stage to catch Atmosphere, a true veteran of the indie rap game. At one point in your life God Loves Ugly was a favorite album of yours. Considering your love of that album, your surprised you never saw Atmosphere before or since it came out…

May 23, 2010

Black Breath Jams

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blackbreath

Black Breath ::: photo courtesy of Southern Lord

Sometime last weekend I read a twitter message from Converge talking about how Black Breath was melting minds. Cheers to you, legends of hardcore from the snowy northeast. When I saw Black Breath with Converge and Coalesce last week at Neumo’s, Black Breath pried the top of my skull open like it was a can of tuna and inserted all sorts of sonic misgivings. I tried to protest, “Your guitar tone is too immaculate for my mortal body to handle!” They claimed it was for my own good, they were right. It was the second time in recent memory that a heavy local band arguably outplayed its “national” counterparts. (The other time I’m referring to is when Helm’s Alee played with Young Widows and Russian Circles back in November.) While on the subject I must say that Coalesce was really, really good. Whenever I heard them growing up, I thought of them as “short bus hardcore” that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Flash forward more than a decade later and my opinion has changed. I spent the entire duration of Coalesce’s set with a paper plate, plastic fork and knife, napkin tied around my neck, eating crow while quietly crying in the corner.

But I digress.

Gentle reader, do you want to know how to win my heart? Sure you do. One foolproof way is cooking really great Italian food. The other way is appealing to what I would call my “Dimebag Sensibilities.” Yes, I could be talking about marijuana, but in this case I’m really talking about my undying love of Pantera. The first time I heard the initial groove of “Unholy Virgin” I immediately thought of the chorus to Pantera’s “Goddamn Electric.” I don’t mind any band that reminds me of the Cowboys from Hell. “Unholy Virgin” is unlike the other songs off of Black Breath’s album “Heavy Breathing” because it’s not as fast and thrashy as the other tracks. It remains stuck in its seductive rattlesnake rhythm for the duration of the song and that is fine by me. Choosing this track over others like “I Am Beyond” and “Wewhocannotbenamed” was not easy. Especially considering the former has an atrociously brutal breakdown that makes me feel like kid again. I don’t mind “Picking up Change” before going into a wicked “Pizza Maker” then transitioning into a “Light-Saber Fight” that culminates with me stage diving onto my bed. As long as it’s in the comfort of my own bedroom and I’m the only one who might potentially get hurt, right?

You might think Black Breath is named after some sort of unfortunate affliction, but this is one instance where disease feels almost to good to be true.

Stream “Unholy Virgin” courtesy of Southern Lord Records – from the album Heavy Breathing