August 1, 2008
The Saturday Knights 2nd Annual Donut Eating Contest
Before somebody starts accusing me of lacking journalistic integrity let me say this: I work for Light In The Attic, the home of The Saturday Knights. I try not to cover Light-related artists on the site, but due to a confluence of circumstances this weekend I was the only member of the Sound on the Sound team to make it to The Saturday Knights’ 2nd Annual Donut Eating Contest. So, with full disclosure on the table, my numerical coverage of The Saturday Knights’ 2nd Annual Donut Eating Contest:
Getting it all warmed up :: Photo by Jackie Kingsbury
1. This contest was pretty much The Billy the Fridge Show. Lord knows how much this kids weighs (a few friends guessed 400+) but from minute one, it was clear: this kid could eat a shit-ton of donuts.
2. As fate would have it, The Fridge just didn’t get the selection. Former Almost Live! alum Nancy Guppy picked out six kids (a bizarre mixture of sort of thugged out hip-hop kids, a 6′8″ Louisianian named “The Donut Eating Angel of Death, and just your good-natured competitive eaters) and alas, no Billy. Lucky for ole Fridgey though, he’d brought 40 dollars worth of bribery just for that sort of situation. A little gentle bullying from Fridge and Ms. Guppy sealed the deal, and in the, er, parlance of our times, we were off to the races.
They look so happy, don’t they? :: Jackie Kingsbury
3. It was impressive to me that pretty much every competitor had some form of cheering section. As the lovely Nancy Guppy pulled out names, each one got a sizable yell. Maybe I’m new to the fascinating world of competitive eating, but do you have to bring your own cheerleaders to even be considered a contender? Even The Fridge had a sort of circling group of sycophants and the man had to buy his way in to the contest. Big eaters seemingly need big crowds.
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