BOAT ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

It’s weird how hard we tried to be “cool” when we we’re adolescents searching for the slightest hint of identity. “What can I do to accepted by the invisible powers that be?” I’ll buy that Tommy Hilfiger shirt because I saw Snoop Dogg wear it on television during Saturday Night Live. If I talk a certain way or use certain words, more people will like me. I want the prettiest things. I want to walk amongst stars. I want to take moonbeams home in a jar. I’d rather be dead than uncool.

The bands that remind me of BOAT, the Pavement’s, Nada Surf’s, Fig Dish’s, Nerf Herder’s etc. were all “cool” for reasons I could not understand as a lost, angst-filled teenager. Those aforementioned bands never tried to distant themselves from who they really were. They embraced their uniqueness and it showed in their songs and their approach to songwriting. That’s a large part of what made these bands “cool.” All of this was lost on my myopic, immature mind. If what you’re singing about hasn’t been deemed cool on a large scale, then how can it be considered that? If your life is a teenage wasteland, the answer is a resounding “no.” Why aren’t you singing about dogs trampling through wicked gardens? Cut my hair? Just shut-up, step on your Boss DS-2 and become cumbersome to this world.

It is with all this in mind that listening to BOAT’s Dress Like Your Idols reminds me of what it’s like to try on one of my father’s suits. I’m somewhat familiar with the blueprint. I know what it’s supposed to look like. In the end I’m dwarfed by that which is not present, lost in expensive fabric, giggling at the fact I’m dressing up as a “grown up” both in theory and in reality. This is not a play on the album’s title but rather a poor exercise in aberrant comparisons. I know enough about the trailblazers of “geek rock” to create the juxtaposition, not enough to expound on or brag about. Besides, when the last notes of the “Dress Like Your Idols” could no longer be heard, that’s literally the first thing I thought of. “Get a real job!” I can hear my father say. No dad, I don’t want to be a productive member of society like you. Damn the man, save the Empire! Is the Empire hiring? The job I want doesn’t exist. I just punched my desk and hurt my wrist.

Dress Like Your Idols is a triumph because it’s equally as intelligent as it is ridiculous. At times it will leave you thinking to yourself, “I wish I were the one that thought of that.” Then there are other times where you will think “This sounds real drunken, I’m not sure they should have recorded this.” The ratio of the former to the latter is of the friendly 2.85:1 variety. I don’t mind a band falling on their face just short as long as it’s in the name of attempting to do something different. Will this win album of the year? I’m not sure. I enjoy it quite a bit but we have many more months left on the calendar for 2011.

One thing is for sure, “(I’ll Beat My Chest Like) King Kong” will be one of the best songs released this year, local or otherwise. Is that a homemade theremin I hear in the introduction? The interrupted, syncopated presence of the rhythm section going back into the verse is one of those small details that really enhances the song for me. The lyrics are outstanding. One of the most original love songs I have heard in quite a while. If you’re a songwriter, this display of catchy efficiency turns you green with envy. If Billboard were a relevant entity, (besides, the whole making money thing) this is the kind of song that would crack the Top 100 if it ended up in the right hands and were played to the right audience. Am I trapped in a time warp? You people probably think I’m crazy. What other current, legitimate “indie rock” songs can you say that about?

More about Dress Like Your Idols

“Forever in Armitron” has been getting lots of KEXP radio love over the past couple of weeks. Honestly, I can’t figure out what the song is about. It’s probably my poor hearing and lack of intelligence. Something about a car alarm and Federal Way? Not that every song has to be steeped in meaning, I just feel like an east coast soul that is missing out on a good inside joke. As for the music itself, I’m amazed how much depth a band can create from the most simple of musical arrangements. I enjoy this song, but not nearly as much as the next song I’m going to discuss.

“Landlocked” is a humorous, danceable gem that quickly became my favorite song off of Dress Like Your Idols once I cycled through the album a few times. I demand a music video for this track and you should too. “You know you really should be smiling/But you don’t feel like smiling/Your face is made of stone/I give up.” Read those lyrics, what or where does that remind you of? Now go outside and play in traffic Seattlite. Gentle reader, do you remember when I told you the key to writing an insanely catchy song is just having one of the instruments mimic the vocal pattern in a way that reinforces the melody? What? You don’t actual pay attention to the things I write? Fair enough. BOAT borrowed this ancient secret for “Landlocked” and the end result is pop perfection. The unfortunate part is that unless BOAT makes a video for this song, you won’t know how great it is unless you buy the album. Cough. Cough.  I guess there’s always the loophole of seeing them perform it live.  You’ll see me somewhere in the crowd singing the refrain along with many others.

“L-O-V-E” and “(Do The) Double Take” are two abbreviated numbers that I adore, “Double Take” in particular. If you ever see a guy running like hell around Greenlake and laughing his brains out, chances are it’s me and I’m listening to this album song. My favorite lines being, “Do the double take as you walk on in/Smiling at a girl from across the bar/You  search that bar, you have searched that bar,” and “American problems aren’t problems at all/You are a baby/You’re nothing at all.” You might be thinking “Well, those lines aren’t that funny.” On paper, you might be correct. However, the song is composed in such a 1950’s-teen-dream-riding-around-in-a-convertible-with-big-shades type fashion that it creates an astonishingly hilarious singalong. The track is also under two minutes long so unless you are stricken with the most severe case of attention deficit disorder known to humankind, you probably won’t ever get tired of this song.

Like I said earlier, most of this album is pretty darn decent. On the other hand, it has it’s moments where I’d like to call shenanigans. When I first heard the song “Noises in the Night” I enjoyed it. Then I listened to the song again and enjoyed it slightly less than before. Repeat this process another fifty or so times and now the song has found itself on the “dislike” side of my BOAT venn diagram. Even though the song has the universally identifiable theme of annoying neighbors, it doesn’t make it any easier to listen to; much like the neighbors you judge but don’t really know. The vocals during the chorus sound pretty inebriated. I’m sure if I would have liked this song more if I saw it on an episode of The Adventues of Pete and Pete. I can visualize Arnie doing the strangest kind of interpretive muscle dance to the verses. Unfortunately for BOAT and myself, that didn’t happen and I’m left with my current opinion.

Have you ever wanted to punch a small furry animal to prove your Darwinian dominance? No? Have you ever killed a large murder of crows to illustrate you are the product Intelligent Design? Possibly? The chorus of “Bite My Lips” will make you you want to do both. It’s bouncy yet mundane. It works well with the song but I have the most evil thoughts during the chorus. I see small children hopping on trampolines, but the trampolines have been poorly placed on the edge of a cliff. The results are not good, cherubic death by circus-like entertainment. Honestly, the only part of the song I like is the abbreviated post-chorus bridge that takes place about halfway through the song. The bridge only lasts a matter of seconds.

“When Frank Black Says (No. 14 Baby)” is one of those songs that works much better live than it does on record. It’s not a bad song by any means, it’s just not as strong as some of the my other favorite compositions on this album. The Pixies references are quite amusing. In a live setting, where the song really shines, it has a lot of energy and the contrast between the first half and the second half of the song translates well. This song more than any other Dress Like Your Idols song has grown on me over the course of time. I like when that happens.

Overall, I predict this will be one of the better local records released all year. If you’re not familiar with BOAT, don’t feel bad for coming to the party late. Dress Like Your Idols is a good release to start with and then you can work your way into their back catalog. Or you can do the opposite and start with Songs You May Not Like and then graduate to their most recent release. Gentle reader, during this everlasting Emerald City winter, now is the time lighten up and dress like your parents idols. The album is available now on Magic Marker Records.