September 3, 2010

Bumbershoot 2010: Day Two Preview

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Redwood Plan ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

“God, won’t you just die already?”

– A line of dialogue that exists in approximately 72% of all action movies.

I said the same thing when I saw who the headliners were for Day Two of Bumbershoot 2010. Hole? Weezer? This would have been amazing back in 1994. Actually, I take that back, for the benefit of fictional concertgoers I’ll say 1996. That way Weezer would have the chance to treat fans to a full onslaught of Pinkerton tunes and Courtney Love would-still-almost-kind-of be relevant musically before hitting complete flat-line status. Unfortunately, we’re in the year 2010 and all I can do is shake my fists.  Did concert promoters forget to ask Tonic and Sponge for their for admission onto this “alternative rock” gravy train? In honor of our introductory quote, this day two preview is going to be cinematic in nature. Who doesn’t love a good matinee? Every band that I have chosen to speak about will have a movie assigned to them that best explains what they are all about. This should be a complete failure because I’ve only seen 11 movies in my 27 years on this Earth. Enjoy.

Hole Over the Top– A 1987 drama starring Sylvester Stallone about a long haul truck driver who tries to win back his alienated son while becoming the king of the arm wrestling world. What does this have to do with Courtney Love and Hole? Everything. The title of this Stallone film could sum up Miss World’s entire career. As ridiculous as this 1980’s “blockbuster” was, it’s not nearly as ludicrous as Hole being allowed to play anywhere in the year 2010. (7:30pm on Bumbershoot MainStage)

WeezerSugar and Spice- A popular high school cheerleader becomes pregnant with the star quarterback’s child. She then gets her cheerleading squad to help her become the biggest bank robbing menace since John Dillinger. I know what you’re thinking, “How does this relate to Weezer? I just don’t see it.” Think of Weezer’s music as having the same persona as “stereotypical” cheerleaders. Now let’s reflect on how they’ve been robbing you (read: getting away with serious cash) for more than a decade now! Outrage! Ever since Matt Sharp left the band, Weezer albums have been so bad that Lifehouse would think twice about releasing them. (9:15pm on the Bumbershoot MainStage)

School of Rock All-Stars – This one is fairly obvious, seeing as the musical act is named after the Jack Black movie. Both are highly recommended. (12:30pm at the EMP Sky Church)

Eldridge Gravy and the Court SupremeHappy Feet – A colony of Emperor Penguins are excellent singers but can’t dance a lick. Somehow, someway a penguin is produced that can only dance but can’t sing! Eldridge Gravy has nothing to do with penguins but everything having to do with toe tapping. (12:30pm on the State Farm Stage)

Horse Feathers ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

Horse Feathers Bio Dome – Two friends get trapped in a Bio Dome, hilarity ensues because these two friends are Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin. Horse Feathers don’t sound as bad musically as the premise for Bio Dome. I actually liked the movie (I was 13 and Joey Lauren Adams was in it) probably as much as I enjoy this band. Whenever I hear Justin Ringle’s vocals I feel like plants should be growing in the background. I almost gave Horse Feathers the movie FernGully. (1:15pm on the Starbucks Stage)

Sweet Water- Singles – A group of twenty-something friends, most of whom live in the same apartment complex, search for love and success in grunge-era Seattle. This band sounds like the year the movie Singles was released. I’m wouldn’t be surprised if they were actually in the movie as extras or something. (1:15pm on the Center Square Stage)

Motion City Soundtrack Cop and a Half – An eight-year-old dreams of being a cop. He watches police TV shows and knows police procedures. One day the young boy witnesses a murder but won’t give the police information unless they make him a cop. The police give him a badge and he partners with a cop that happens to hate children. Just because you give a snot-nosed kid a badge, doesn’t mean he’s law enforcement. Just because you give some dudes with hair gel guitars, that doesn’t make them a rock band. (6:30pm on the Center Square Stage)

Fresh Espresso ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

Fresh EspressoHouse Party – Young Kid has been invited to a party at his friend Play’s house. But after a fight at school, Kid’s father grounds him. Nonetheless, Kid sneaks out when his father falls asleep. Fresh Espresso sounds like the movies title. I had a blast watching them rock Neumo’s at Block Party. Did you know House Party won two Sundance awards? (2:15pm on the State Farm Stage)

Hey Marseilles Cabin Boy –  Christopher Elliott plays a fancy lad who upon graduation confuses a The Filthy Whore fishing ship for the Queen Catherine cruise liner. From this confusion a strange odyssey is born.  Hey Marseilles earned this honor because all of their songs remind me of sailing. Originally I was going to give them the movie Amistad but I was worried some of you might miss my sense of humor. Cabin Boy is a good choice, it’s a funny film for a band that writes songs with somewhat serious subject matter. (2:15pm on the Broad Street Stage)

Sister Monica’s “Singing in the Spirit” Sister Act -  When a worldly singer witnesses a mob crime, the police hide her as a nun in a traditional convent where she has trouble fitting in. She then befriends all the nuns and they sing their way into the hearts of the universe. I think this is an appropriate partnership. (3pm on the Starbucks Stage)

Georgia Anne Muldrow and DeclaimeFire in the Sky – A group of men who were clearing bush for the government arrive back in town claiming that their friend was abducted by aliens.. The sounds of Georgia Anne Muldrow and Declaime are the sounds of alien abduction if it were being spearheaded by George Clinton and the Mothership. (4pm on the State Farm Stage)

The Lonely H ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

The Lonely HAlmost Famous – A high-school boy is given the chance to write a story for Rolling Stone Magazine about an up-and-coming rock band as he accompanies it on their concert tour. Yeah that’s the plot in a nutshell but you and I both know that this movie is so much more than that. The Lonely H is a solid, no-nonsense rock band much like the fictional band Stillwater. What I wouldn’t give to see these boys play “Fever Dog.” (2pm at the EMP Sky Church)

Greta Matassa QuartetL.A. Confidential -  In sleazy 1950’s Los Angeles, a shooting at an all-night diner is investigated by three LA policemen in their own unique ways. This movie feels like a timeless classic much like the music of Greta Matassa Quartet. It could have been made in any of the seven decades and you wouldn’t know the difference. (1:15pm on the Northwest Court Stage)

Unnatural HelpersFerris Beuller’s Day Off – A high school wise guy is determined to have a day off from school, despite of what the principal thinks of that. The Unnatural Helpers latest effort Cracked Love and Other Drugs isn’t a bad soundtrack for contemporary high school students to skip school to. (12:30pm on the Broad Street Stage)

The TripwiresDazed and Confused – The adventures of incoming high school and junior high students on the last day of school, in May of 1976. Quite possibly the best “teenager” movie of the 1990′s. Everything about this movie is cool and you could say the same about the Tripwires. If you ask me, I think the Tripwires got a raw deal by having to play so early. You can’t put a band of this caliber on before noon, that does not make any sense. (11:45am on the Starbucks Stage)

Johnny BregarCurious George – Will Ferrell stars as The Man in the Yellow Hat, a gentleman who looks after his pet monkey – an inquisitive and wonderful creature whose enthusiasm often gets the best of him. Johnny Bregar writes children’s songs that aren’t much different than the soundtrack Jack Johnson created to this movie. I might have to give Bregar the edge though, he sings about Blackberry pie. Delicious. (12pm on the Northwest Court Stage)

Crash Kings3 Ninjas – Each year, three brothers visit their Japanese grandfather for the summer. The boys’ grandfather is highly skilled at martial arts and other forms of self-defense. The boys must use the ninja skills they learned from their grandfather to stop an organized crime ring that has proven too much for the FBI. Crash Kings are a trio that includes a pair of brothers. They’ve been described as the love child of the Cold War Kids and the White Stripes. So in other words this band is extremely average. Do you wish Maroon 5 had more of an edge? Sometimes wishes do come true. (3pm on the Center Square Stage)

McTuff Trio - That Thing You Do - A Pennsylvania band scores a hit in 1964 and rides the star-making machinery as long as it can, with lots of help from its manager. I don’t know any movies that are “variety hour” based. In truth, that’s what McTuff Trio sounds like to me, vintage variety hour music that you can shake a leg at. The trio do what they do, and they do it well. (3pm on the Northwest Court Stage)

The Redwood PlanBring It On – A champion high school cheerleading squad discovers its previous captain stole all their best routines from an inner-city school and must scramble to compete at this year’s championships. I swear I don’t have a cheerleading movie fetish. Sometimes you just have to choose what your heart wants. The Redwood Plan create spunky, danceable tunes that would not be out of place as the soundtrack to a floor routine in a gym somewhere. (3:30pm at the EMP Sky Church)

Dave Bazan ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

David Bazan - Phenomenon - An ordinary man sees a bright light descend from the sky, and discovers he now has super-intelligence and telekinesis. I can imagine Travolta listening to David Bazan in the movie instead of Eric Clapton. (4pm on the Broad Street Stage)

Brian Auger’s Oblivion ExpressFantasia – A collection of animated interpretations of great works of Western classical music. Brian Auger doesn’t create classical music but much like some of themes in Fantasia, what he does create is genre-defying. (4:45pm on the Starbucks Stage)

Jay ElectronicaHighlander - An immortal Scottish swordsman must confront the last of his immortal opponent, a murderously brutal barbarian who lusts for the fabled “Prize”. There can be only one. Jay Electronica rhymes are absolutely insane. I was going to chose Belly to illustrate how his lyrics will body you straight up, but I like alluding to immortal Scottish bloodlust.  Jay Electronica might arguably be the best hip-hop act performing this weekend, be sure not to miss his set. (5:45pm on the State Farm Stage)

LMFAOBill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure -  Two seemingly dumb teens struggle to prepare a historical presentation with the help of a time machine. Yeah, that sounds about right. Party on, dude! I’m in Miami, trick! (9:15pm on the State Farm Stage)

Rise AgainstFace Off – A revolutionary medical technique allows an undercover agent to take the physical appearance of a major criminal and infiltrate his organization. If I didn’t know any better or I was a good 6 or 7 years younger, this might be one of my favorite bands. Fortunately that is not the case and I realize that Rise Against is a mediocre version of the year 1996 in terms of punk/hardcore/whatever the kids call it these days. (5:45pm on the Bumbershoot MainStage)

Fences ::: photo by Abbey Simmons

Fences - Holy Man - Eddie Murphy stars as an over-the-top television evangelist who finds a way to turn television home shopping into a religious experience, and takes America by storm. Don’t laugh. Hear me out. In the movie Eddie Murphy has a way of putting everyone at ease, it’s admirable. I think the music of Fences has the same calming effect when listened to. In addition, Fences is very much under-rated much like Eddie Murphy’s performance in this movie. (6:45pm at the EMP Sky Church) ________________________________

Read more Bumbershoot coverage:

Our Schedule and Our Suggested Schedule for You

Phil’s Day One Preview

5 Comments

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  1. I have no idea who “Phil” is, nor do I care, honestly. And while I appreciate his effort to be somewhat creative and interesting by writing a movie-themed music preview, it’s a shame he did a horrible job at it. Next time, call me crazy, but he should try relating >music< to music, and then try actually listening to the music he is are trying to preview instead of going from a collection of over-generalizations and ancient stereotypes. This guy gets paid?

  2. We write a blog James, no one gets paid for what they do here.

  3. phil #

    while i take no offense in folks calling me out on hackish work, ancient stereotypes? over-generalizations? i can’t find any of those in there, maybe just poor writing. i listen(ed) to the bands my friend, the music links are there for you, not me. i think some of the comparisons make more sense than others. if you saw jay electronica on sunday, i don’t think “highlander” is too far off. regardless mr. newton (or should i call you crazy?) when i write your memoirs, you will be paying me.

  4. JennyC #

    Brian Auger = Fantasia?
    MCS = Cop and 1/2?

    This is yet another reason why NOBODY with a brain cell left should bother with BLOGS.

    Oh and you might want to be careful, newton has hit the mark here. Enjoy the blogging but do get used to writing for no pay. Lazy blogs like this should ensure of it.

  5. Jamie #

    such biting irony JennyC, glad you’re not wasting your braincells leaving messages on so called, “BLOGS”

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