Shabazz Palaces ::: photo by Josh Lovseth

Have you made plans to get off work early? Even so, did you allow yourself enough time to get stuck in some glorious Friday afternoon Seattle traffic? I hope you did. Everyone is in a hurry to escape from his or her place of work. I don’t even have a job but clearly I’m running from something.  When the Burke-Gilman turns into scenes from “The Road,” I don’t feel like I owe anyone an explanation.

For the lucky survivors, the spoils of day one of Capitol Hill Block Party. Some might argue this is the best day of the festival. I wouldn’t argue with those who are of that opinion because I agree. Let’s do this preview, “Choose Your Own Adventure” style. Only in this adventure I’m making the hypothetical choices for you.  Even though I’m unemployed I still don’t have enough time to write about all potential outcomes complete with illustrations. Maybe next time.

If you choose to begin your day with Macklemore at the Main Stage…

You are obviously smart and have good taste in music. Assuming that you have friends, they would call you the quiet leader of your pack. Sure, you like to get loud and obnoxious on the weekends but that’s only because you want to get an “I Saw U” in some local paper.  You could’ve chose Naomi Punk at the Vera Stage or Police Teeth at Neumo’s but there’s an authentic somewhat romantic groove that Macklemore has that those groups don’t. You’re not Irish but you know all the lyrics to Macklemore’s “Irish Celebration.” The real question is, what do you want to do after Macklemore has left the stage?

Do you want to stick around the Main Stage and listen to the mellow sounds of Bear in Heaven? Would it be hard to go from unique hip-hop to catatonic beauty? It wouldn’t be that hard because you literally wouldn’t have to leave your spot near the stage. Maybe a quick bathroom or beverage break is in order. If you do that, you’re going to leave your spot and you know what that means. Fuck…

You’ve just ended up at Neumo’s getting “forever bummed” with Fences. This is not a bad thing because you really like what you’ve heard from him (them). Besides it’s a hot day and you’re scared of the sun. Maybe you’ve seen the Blade trilogy too many times or you just don’t have enough melanin in your skin, these are simply guesses. Fences were a good choice though. It’s not the same as Bear in Heaven but the endorphins in your brain haven’t noticed too much of a difference. Now what do you?

Do you stick around the Neumo’s stage and hope that the Unnatural Helpers play “Sunshine/Pretty Girls”? I mean that song is really good and it would be the perfect tune to a week that has otherwise been a bummer. You could try and find some friends go see Modern Athletics at the Cha Cha stage. However, the thought of doing that kind of creeps you out because you’ve never been into organized sports. What about Francis and the Lights at the Vera Stage? Is that group any different than the Lights? Is Black Francis fronting that band?  You don’t want to go unless you know for sure.  Is any of this worth missing Shabazz Palaces back at the Main Stage? You know what they say, “There’s no such thing as too much hip-hop.” Literally, you’ve never heard that saying before. Suddenly your head is flooded with unsalable bumper sticker and t-shirt ideas revolving around the idea of being a glutton of block rocking beats. You smile quietly as you horde your imaginary millions and make your way back to the Main Stage…

Choose the rest of your adventure after the jump

Greedy daydreamer. You’ve cost yourself a couple of songs of the Shabazz Palaces’ set. This doesn’t bother you too much because you’re about to become a part of an elite tax bracket.  You’ve never seen Shabazz Palaces before but you listen to their music in your car stereo all the time. Luckily for you, this experience far exceeds any kind of car dancing you have done on I-5.  It feels good to dance upright. It feels good to enjoy that which makes sporadic appearances. Shabazz Palaces finishes their set and you’re thirsty for more. Suddenly your bumper sticker idea seems to only thing that is real in your life. Seeing Champagne Champagne would naturally be the next step in what has already proven to be a great night. Sticking around to see Yeasayer would be the antecedent to this natural progression. You don’t really like Yeasayer much because they are the hipster version of Enya but you hear they put on an incredible show. YouTube has the goods to back these numerous claims up.  Then again you could go see that Chris Pureka guy at the Vera Stage but you didn’t have time to MySpace him before doing the Block Party thing. Bummer.  The year 2000 is making an appearance at the Cha Cha in the form of the Absolute Monarchs. A turn back the clock rock n’ roll riot wouldn’t be a bad idea.  You remember when rock n’ roll wasn’t boring and long for that feeling of being back in high school and hating yourself. Now you’re just thinking about grad school and still hating yourself…

As you make your way to the Cha Cha you see a former lover across the street sucking face with some stranger. Super awesome. Don’t they know about your unrequited love for them? Your good vibrations suddenly cease and the world becomes a cruel, dark place. You run downstairs to the Cha Cha portion of Bimbo’s and proceed to order three Long Islands. This drinking order of doom was particularly hard to come by against the backdrop of pure rock and roll. The Absolute Monarchs are really good but you don’t care. You give one of the Long Islands to an attractive stranger and begin to double fist the other two as tears run down your cheek. The venue is packed so onlookers might mistake it for sweat but your ex-lover knows you’re a sensitive soul. If they were there they’d shout into a megaphone that you’re crying. Cha Cha patrons will drink Mint Juleps in celebration of your emotional agony. You wanted to come back later on in the evening to see of your favorite bands, Helms Alee, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. You become so distraught that you vow never to set foot in the Cha Cha again…at least until the next day of Block Party.

Drunk and feeling alone you leave Cha Cha after the Absolute Monarchs have trashed the place.  You don’t know where to go so you sit-down in the middle of the sidewalk and contemplate your next move.  Will you rush to see Head Like a Kite at Neumo’s? Or will you mope around and wait until Holy Fuck takes the Main Stage for what might be the best set of Block Party? At this point in the evening, the only thing that could lift your spirits more than seeing a Toronto Maple Leafs game would be seeing blip and whirr their way into the hearts and minds of the Main Stage audience. Holy Fuck is the perfect denial to the sad tale that has become your life.

Because you made the wise decision of choosing Holy Fuck, good karma has decided to pal around with you for a while. Holy Fuck is so amazing that even karma has to bend to their will. While you are attempting to dance but failing miserably, you see that special someone that always comes into your place of work (side note: If you don’t have a job, then you continue to fail at dancing and nobody pays attention to you). You’re still feeling the effects of those Long Islands; you have the liquid courage to dance over to them. After you clumsily made your move, you groove side by side in completely different time signatures. Onlookers who have not taken any Dramamine are suddenly wondering if their drinks have been messed with. Somehow your god-awful dancing was found endearing to your workplace crush. The two of you leave the proximity of the Main Stage together and try to find a place quiet enough to make a decision. You have time to catch one more act…

Who’s it going to be? Are you going to end the night with some hip-hop at Neumo’s courtesy of the “Fantastic Four”? You and your newfound friend could make your way back to the Main Stage and catch MGMT?  Once upon a time “Of Moons, Birds & Monsters” was one of the most listened to songs on your I-Tunes. However, all of your friends have been hating on MGMT lately. Suddenly you remember that the ex-lover from earlier was really into the Fruit Bats. In your head you devise a plan to make them jealous just in case you see them during the Fruit Bats set. You decide that the Fruit Bats delicate sounds and the unbeknownst aid of your workplace crush will make this revenge that much sweeter. You make your way to the Vera Stage…

Stay Tuned for Day 2 of  “Choose Your Own Adventure: Capitol Hill Block Party 2010”