Dio Sing Along ::: photo courtesy of Seattle Rock Guy

How appropriate is it to have “Your Village Sucks Fest!” in Seattle’s least favorite neighborhood of Belltown? My answer to that would be “very”; your answer might be “Why didn’t this night of music take place in Everett?” Zing! Come on lighten up! You know Belltown as home to the stars! You want a $10 cover? You got it! Do you want to pay $10 for Michelob Ultra Light? Yes! Do you want to see a middle-aged man get kicked out of Tia Lou’s for dancing on high risers that are obviously meant for attractive, younger women? Yes! Do you want to bail my uncle out of jail? I don’t have any money.

Contrast is a brilliant thing. Imagine, all these people (let’s call them “rockers”) converging on our condominium laced 13-city block oasis, smoking cigarettes, dressed in outfits that Lemmy from Motorhead picked out for them the night before. It’s a thing of beauty.  Sure there were some hiccups over the course of the evening of Your Village Sucks Fest. One of the bands had equipment trouble so they didn’t have the opportunity to play. Madraso and Mobile Slaughter Unit were unable to take the stage on Saturday Night, which caused me to frown upon getting my wrist stamped. Other then these minor blemishes, an overall enjoyable night for those who came for some rock and roll action. A few casual observations I made over the course of the evening:

* How many stages does The Rendezvous have and are there enough stages to host Bonnaroo? I didn’t know that the Rendezvous had a stage downstairs. As a matter r of fact, I didn’t even know there was a downstairs to begin with. Who says that you don’t learn something new everyday? Cynics.

* Throne of Bone. Terrible band name. Pretty good band. I loved their dissonant palm mute breakdowns. Their drummer had a Pageninetynine shirt that I had never seen before. I was contemplating hiding around some dark corner and assaulting him in order to steal it and add to my collection of Pageninetynine shirts. However as time went by, the unseen forces of maturity kicked in and I decided against it. That and I figured out an online store where I can buy the aforementioned shirt for myself.

*  Warning: Danger! I don’t like this band at all, but I do like their spirit. In a town where so many bands are the visual definition of boring, these guys, with their stage props and ridiculous costumes (not to mention their usage of an oversized 1980’s Tom Hanks head! Egad! I must’ve been upstairs getting a drink when they busted that out!) make life worth living. Or at the very least, it makes watching their band a guaranteed good time.

*  Mico de Noche is what the doctor ordered. Luckily for me, they were part of my rock and roll prescription before the national health care bill passed. Mico de Noche played a brand new song that caused so much on-stage ruckus that I thought they were going to knock their Verellen amps over. If that weren’t enough, they ended their set with the anthem “Summer Beard”, a song that is destined to be on the summer soundtracks of a majority of the male population in Seattle.  Actually I take that back, most dudes around here don’t have the courage to hang with Mico de Noche.  Mico De Noche, release “Summer Beard” in acoustic format. Get Grizzly Bear, Panda Bear and Yogi Bear (Boo-Boo often panics during the mastering stage of the process. Don’t invite him to the party) to remix the track. You might even want to throw Stevie Nicks in on vocals.  Make available the acoustic release, along with the three Bear mixes and the acoustic cut with just Nicks on vocals, on a hand pressed lavender colored 10” that is limited to 77.6 copies. Gentleman, do you want to be successful or not? I’ll see you at Coachella next year.

* The highlight of the evening was the Ronnie James Dio video tribute. In case you didn’t know, Ronnie James Dio is battling stomach cancer right now; a tribute was planned at the Rendezvous in his honor. Gentle reader, I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t like Dio. I don’t care if he was in Sabbath or not. I don’t care if he and Mariah Carey are the only two human beings who have ever lived that can hit 31 different vocal octaves. That stuff belongs on the back of baseball cards.  Although I have a complete indifference to Dio, I recognize a special moment when I see one. Festivalgoers gathered for a group sing-a-long to Dio’s “Rainbow in the Dark”. Take a look at the song name, just another reason why I don’t get Dio. Anyway, there were some technical difficulties at first, so fans of Dio were just singing out random Dio lyrics until the song was properly cued. Once “Rainbow in the Dark” began to play, the enthusiasm and joy sprayed across people’s faces was pretty contagious. There was someone videotaping this oddly sweet occasion while standing on a chair.  If you’re having a rough day and want to bring a smile to your face, I suggest you put on your thinking cap and find that video. Smiling is contagious.